Cheers to 2018

I don't know what to title this. I haven't written in a while and my last post was so depressing, I didn't really want my next one to be a downer, yet here we are. 23 minutes till the new year and I am up alone after celebrating New Years Eve with the kids and the hubbs at home since Jackson was sick and we couldn't go out and celebrate with friends.

Last week, 2 days before Christmas, we had an extremely scary moment happen in our house...

Ellie was playing upstairs with Jackson while he was playing video games. I came downstairs to get something and Mike went up to check on them. He yelled for me to come upstairs because Ellie was sick and throwing up. I ran upstairs to help and he had her over the sink, she was throwing up and gasping in between throw ups and he was handling it so I asked where she threw up and he said our bed. I walked into the room to pull the sheets off the bed and right next to where she got sick there sat a little pile of coins and I instantly knew. I screamed for Mike that she had put coins in her mouth and by then she was trying to cough and gag and was really whining. I took over and started patting her back and told her to keep coughing, she was trying to cough them up but couldn't but by that point was still able to breathe a bit. I yelled for Mike to call 911 and he did. I tried to work with her, hitting her back and begging her to cough. She finally tried to do a big cough and at once the coins slid down into her throat and completely blocked her airway. She looked up at me in the mirror with the most horrified look on her face and I instantly knew she was choking. I was hitting her back and trying to do the heimlich and nothing was working. In my heart, I felt she was going to die in my arms. I felt so helpless. It felt like an eternity that she couldn't breathe. I suddenly remembered our CPR training in foster care and how to do infant heimlich over the knee and I did that and hit her back multiple times as hard as I could and out flew two nickles and a penny. She was screaming and crying and I was too. The fire department and the paramedics came, they checked her out and told us we needed to get her to the hospital to make sure there were no more in there. X-rays came back and she is all clear and there are thankfully no coins in her tummy. It can happen in an instant. I shudder thinking about what would have happened had Mike not checked on her. I never leave my bedroom open and the one time I do, she searched in my nightstand drawers and found some loose change. I am so glad we had taken our CPR and first aid training. It's so important and I urge all of you to take a class if you never have!

I woke up the next morning exhausted and feeling like I was in a daze. I tried to stand to get out of bed and the room was completely spinning. I had to have Mike get up with the kids so I could lay back down until I was able to see clearly. I am pretty sure it was some type of trauma and, though I feel silly saying this, I really think I suffered a little PTSD because of it all. I just don't feel the same since then, and even me standing in the same spot where it happened will send me into a silent sob-fest.

Thanking God that I still have a daughter to wrap my arms around. Thanking Him for His gift of wisdom and grace. Thankful to first responders everywhere and especially those who were in our home on that night and were so good with our baby. Hug your babies, life is so fragile.

Cheers to 2018. I am so thankful it is ending with all of us safe and under one roof. Here's to 2019, may you be a year of healing.

Ellie, happy as can be, in the ER after the choking incident

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